Today the hubby and I will celebrate eight years of marriage. We’ve been together for almost a decade now, and I’ve learned a thing or two about this whole relationship deal.
- Go to bed angry. You hear it all the time “don’t go to bed angry”. I think that’s written into every preacher’s wedding sermon I’ve ever heard. Let me tell you, that’s crap advice. If it’s midnight and you’re pissed that he hasn’t done the dishes, just go on to bed. You probably won’t sleep well, but 9 am is a much better time to address cleaning pots than 2 am. If you’re tired and cranky, you’re not going to fight fair and you’ll make a much digger deal out of dirty forks than you would if you had some sleep.
- Say “I love you” all the time. Even if you don’t really feel it right then, say it. Heaven forbid one of you doesn’t come home from work, you want “I love you” to be the last thing you said to your spouse.
- Just pick up the damn socks. When you first start living with someone you tend to gloss over their annoying little habits. Eventually they start to irritate you and you probably end up in an argument over it. With time comes perspective and you learn that it’s easier for everyone if you just pick up his dirty socks. Seriously, it’s two seconds of your time and it’s just not that big of a deal.
- Have your own hobbies. Dating couples and newlyweds do everything together, and that’s a good thing. However, as your relationship matures, you want to make sure you cultivate your own interests and hobbies. This allows you to be excited about something and have something to share with your partner at the end of the day. I know pretty much nothing about Destiny (the video game), but I look forward to my husband telling me about the new expansions and missions and what not. Why? Because I like seeing him excited and passionate about his interests.
- Routine can be nice. We’re that “old married couple” that sits on the couch and watches tv every night, and I like that. Doing something new and exciting every day can be great, but there’s a lot of value in predicability as well. There’s a comfort to it; it helps to make you feel “at home”.
- You should still do something new every so often. Even if it’s just trying a new restaurant or a road trip to a town neither of you have been to. It gives you a new combined experience, a new memory to share.
- It’s a commitment. Anyone can have a wedding. Not everyone will make it last. The difference is quite simple: are you committed? Are you willing to make love a verb and not just a feeling? Will you tough it out when things get tough or will you run for the hills? You’ve got to decide when things are good and easy that you’re in it for the long haul so that when things get hard you know you’re going to stick it out.
- The good far out weighs the bad. Our society thrives on drama and showcasing the times when marriage doesn’t go well and things don’t work out, but in my experience- the bad times suck really bad, but they are nothing compared to how good the good times are. The worst fight doesn’t compare to having your partner with you to face life’s challenges, to go with you on new adventures, to be with you as you do new things or do nothing, and to love you no matter what.
I am so blessed to have had these eight years with my husband, and I can only pray for eighty more. ☺️
Yes, I know, we’d be 110, but I think we can make it.